Person of intense emotions
This is one area where I would excel blindfolded. But talk about rational thinking and EQ; I would definitely fail. I fall into the category of people who feel 'too much’ or basically feel everything.
Therefore, it’s so common to be labeled as sensitive and emotionally weak.
Although I don’t always describe my pain in words; this is usually how I do.
“Have you ever felt a tiny blob of flesh that was carefully stitched back to the heart over the years, being pulled apart again? Blood oozes out from the old scars and fresh cuts between these stitches. A sharp burning sensation paralyzes the heart and spreads across your chest (that has already been through a trauma); as if it will burst open if you breathe(so instead you choke yourself). The feeling of the blood flooding your rib cage, makes your head dizzy, snatches away all the warmth from the body and forces you to scream nervously; 'No! Not again!’”
Maybe we are wired differently.
I came across a study that said, people who lacked emotion regulation skills as a child or had psychological wounds while growing up, turn out to be sensitive adults.
People like me who always carry a piece of emotional baggage, eager to spread warmth to whoever needs, have been misunderstood a hundred times, if not a thousand.
Self-doubt, loneliness, guilt, shame, low self-esteem are not just words for us.
Yet we are a lot more than just emotional freaks. Our personality can be roughly described as follows;
- A continous flow of mixed feelings makes it difficult to judge which feeling is appropriate.
- Strong instincts.
- Irregular patterns of joy and sorrow.
- Super strong emotional connections that make walking away difficult.
- Empathy towards others; we absorb their worries and turn ourselves into an emotional mess.
- Perceive things that others ignore.
- Vivid thoughts and imaginations.
We don’t fall in love, we drown.
We shed tears that may cause flood. Our passion burns like the never ending forest fire. We hold hands and keep promises until the day our graves are dug.
I own a part of all the hearts that I’ve known and loved and this intensifies my emotions even more. That has made me empathetic.
I’ve learned that the eyes emote. If you focus, it’s easy to decipher every blink and stare.
Emotionally sensitive people feel everybody’s pain and actually cry for them; pray for them to find peace.
Fear terrifies us. Yet we conquer it with the same intensity and measure.
We experience life like no other. We can’t be more human than this.
For us, life of a human is to love and get hurt, is to laugh and cry, to get lost and be found, to win and lose.
It’s all I’ve ever known and that’s why when I don’t find the same in others, I wonder what it’s like to live an emotionless life.
I could never understand the workings of my mind. Yet there is something so beautiful about this…the feelings and all. I can never let go of my distinct emotions even if they create havoc sometimes.
So is it wrong to feel too much?
No.
How can you change your true identity?
Well, we can’t.
So, let’s just stop trying and embrace our humane nature.
Let’s be at peace.
