It’s been a long ten years; how the last decade rolled out for me?
I started 2010 as a clumsy introvert with a bunch of close friends; who would be ending the decade without me.
The overall change was quite dramatic. I am now a lot more confident and comfortable in my own skin.
Back in 2010, I was almost a year into my first relationship but wasn’t sure whether I was doing the right thing. I was in love with not just that person but also the new feeling.
I successfully juggled my studies and a long-distance relationship with this guy who I believed I knew really well. Who doesn’t know a best friend, I thought. My relationship ended in 2016 and the sourness never left me.
It was just the beginning of my downfall.
My career was hit. So was my mental and physical health. People I saw as my own, left me when I needed them the most. At one point, I touched hell with my bare hands only to be pulled back to normal life by my mother.
Sadly, people haven’t been kind to me and an absence of compassion and goodwill from our world saddens me even more.
Over the decade, I have learned lessons that I never thought I needed. It still surprises me when I look back; I have evolved. I would’ve been no one without these lessons;
the new me is so much better.
Self-reflection and self-realization played an important role and I still practice it whenever I can.
So, what actually happened in the last decade;
I witnessed the other side of the bright world.
I realized that we all fall, even if just once; that hurt, disappointment, and failure are imminent. Yet we manage to come up and at least float through the storm.
I found that everyone has a story to tell; it’s just a matter of time that they open up.
I realized that all of us crave love and respect; that we wish to belong somewhere, to someone.
I learned that an apology is a gift.
I found my love for books and healthy food: nutrition for both body and mind.
I suffered from iron-deficient anemia for a really long time and had to take control of my body.
It was hard to remain calm when my life was falling apart; the walls of my house have seen me struggle alone. During the same time, I unconsciously tapped into a place inside me that reeked of empathy and kindness. This made me believe that I could feel other’s pain and love fiercely, passionately and selflessly.
Over time, I switched my career in the hope to find peace and satisfaction.
I lost friends who were not on the same page as I was; who couldn’t relate themselves to the real me. This opened my eyes to the harsh truth; that people come and go, what remains are the lessons and memories.
I realized that asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
I left home for the first time and traveled alone in the last decade. It was a real deal for someone like me. I made new friends and we are still in touch.
One day it fell upon me, that I hated alcohol and might die a teetotaller even if I marry a liquor tycoon.
My broken bonds with people taught me to give space to your loved ones; just let them be.
But now I’ll try to recall what hit me really hard.
-You are always on your own.
So look after yourself.
-There is hardly anyone who cares about what you feel.
That’s why we always say 'I am fine’, when asked 'how are you?’; even if we cry ourselves to sleep every night.
-If you give away something, be prepared to never get it back; be it your sanity or your heart.
Or your precious time. What’s gone, doesn’t come back.
-Kindness, compassion, and selflessness are only words found in books and great speeches.
You’re lucky if you have them in your life. The world needs more of these.
-No matter what you do; right or wrong, people will judge and criticize.
They fancy drama. They will pull you down to test you. Just accept this and move forward.
-Failure is an essential part of our lives.
I never got this until the day I realized what I gained from my failures; a new plan.
-You may not be able to forgive everyone.
It’s alright. You do forget them with time.
-True love isn’t fantasy.
It’s everything but magic. It requires your genuine efforts and understanding.
Irrespective of all the struggles, I am grateful for the invaluable lessons.
I think now I need to lie-down and snore for an hour.
