How never-to-be-sent letters helped me understand my needs and clear my mind.
Trust me when I say I’ve written such letters to every important person in my life. Obviously, I did not post them.
By an important person I mean, someone who has affected me in some way or who had a role to play.
It all began after I had my heart broken for the very first time. I was in a helpless situation and was eager to vent out. I needed a medium to do so. I remember sitting with my diary and staring at it for hours as if it would read my mind and fill those pages by itself.
I had no strength to pick up a pen. I was devastated. And everything felt like a waste of time and energy. It felt worthless.
I wanted to grieve for my loss but couldn’t do anything except sobbing.
Months later, I came across an article that explained ways to let your emotions out. Writing a letter was one of them. But no way I was writing a letter to the person who broke me. So, I tweaked that process of healing and decided to write never-to-be-sent letters to every person who was once an important part of my life.
By that time, I had realized that people eventually walk out of your life, but they leave something behind and that needs to be preserved. Be it a lesson, a gift or simply a feeling.
Now that I was writing these letters; I could connect every person with that specific thing that they left behind. It was a unique experience for me and even helped my mind to forget my pain.
I was curating a priceless collection of both good and bad memories. It fueled my creativity and with time I began to notice a change in my attitude towards the people who left.
I didn’t see them as my enemies anymore. They were my treasure: a bag full of lessons and experiences.
I was healing.
I continued with the letter writing. I would write a letter about my relationship with the person and how it has affected me. I would add my feelings, experiences, my thoughts about everything related to this person.
In the end, I would write two sentences; one telling them what I couldn’t say before they left and the other to let them know what I feel now.
This way I could easily identify the change in my thoughts; what I felt when they were with me and when they weren’t. I understood what I needed from them; what I craved for and what I never received.
It was a healing and a learning process. I became more self-aware.
After writing the letter, I would stack it between my books and forget it.
When the time came and I felt that I had moved on from that person and their absence doesn’t affect me anymore, I would take that letter out and tear it into hundreds of pieces; directing my sorrow and pain towards every piece.
This way I broke all ties. I freed myself from the guilt and pain.
The joy of leaving everything behind in the pages of my past was infectious. It was liberating. Hence, I continued with this process and trust me it still helps.
